


Hate Crime or Internalized Homophobia? (It's the 2nd one)

by Masterofkarate



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, Also I hate writing Dennis and suck at it, Also if u visit Philly don't chill under the El to be cool, Drug Use, Explicit Language, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, No Underage Sex, also probs sort of ooc, but my excuse is they're in high school so like they were slightly different ppl, chilling under the El is not cool kids, i'm sorry lmao, just cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofkarate/pseuds/Masterofkarate
Summary: Charlie doesn't remember the first time he was called a faggot. When you start getting bullied as young as Charlie, the evolution of the words they use don't mean too much. He knew the words were getting harsher, but that's only because their vocabulary was expanding. Their hate for him had remained the same, so he didn't care much more when their words sounded more hateful.He would always remember the first time he was called a faggot by somebody he cared about. His best friend called him a faggot for the first time during the cold months of freshmen year of high school. Years later, it would be a more comfortable part of their vocabulary, not an everyday word, but one you use when you stuff your homosexual tendencies and thoughts down with Catholicism and/or sex repulsion. The first time, however, it was not comfortable, not even in a superficial way.





	Hate Crime or Internalized Homophobia? (It's the 2nd one)

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to add this to my Charlie/Mac childhood fic, but it was too long and didn't quite fit in with the other stories. Anyway, Dennis just started being Mac's friend and Charlie and Dennis aren't jiving. They all go get fucked up at the Reynolds' house. Also Dee's in the story for like half a second.

Charlie and Mac had developed a tradition on Fridays their freshman year of high school. Skip fifth and sixth period, raid Mrs. Kelly's liquor cabinet, and huffed glue under the El. There weren't too many kids their age there, mostly old addicts and some whores. Charlie didn't mind much, though, it was other people that were different, like them. It was the one place they fit right in. They didn't bother anybody, nobody bothered then.

They usually sat pretty far away from anybody else. They would swap the bottle of vodka and glue back and forth and tell stories and joke and muse about the future. They would stop talking to listen to the El run above them loudly. Charlie loved the sounds of the train, it quietted his thoughts for just a minute. The darker it got and the drunker they were, the closer they sat. They used to be very physically affectionate, but growing older had robbed them of physical closeness with each other. On shared, secret nights like their Friday nights, they got a taste of it back.

Then, one Friday, the no good piece of shit, Dennis Reynolds, had to ruin it for Charlie. Charlie hated Dennis for a lot of reasons, but he couldn't say anything because Mac liked him (probably Charlie's least favorite thing about Dennis).

Charlie didn't even know Dennis ruined their Friday until lunch period, what he sat next to Mac and said, “Dude I'm so glad it's a early day, this place sucks.”

“Yeah, about that…” Mac said in that tentative voice he used when he did something he knew would piss you off but didn't want you to be pissed off.

“What?” Charlie grumbled. “I didn't get a truly letter, so I know you didn't.”

“Truancy, Charlie,” Mac corrected quickly before continuing, “No, we're staying the whole day. Dennis wants us to come over, his house, nobody's home tonight. He said his driver will take us over with him.”

“Dude, no!” Charlie whined. “We can't go over Dennis Reynolds’ house! It's probably a mansion, he has a driver for God's sake! We belong under the El with the rest of the train people!”

“Charlie, I think it's time we grow up a bit,” Mac said condescendingly, he always thought he was smarter than Charlie. “Plus, Dennis's house is open, his parents’ got better booze than your mom, it'll be fun.”

“No it won't,” Charlie mumbled. “Dennis doesn't even like us, he just uses you for weed.”

“Dennis is my friend!” Mac nearly shouted at Charlie. And that was enough for Charlie to give up. He fought with everybody all the time, he always tried to avoid fighting with Mac. 

Charlie begrudgingly went to his last two classes of the day, although he was high as shit from some glue he'd kept in his backpack. He went to the bathroom several times during both classes to waste time huffing, he even found a roach to smoke in his backpack.

When school finally ended, his feet dragged behind him to Mac's locker. He knew Dennis wouldn't miss him if he just went home and honestly didn't think Mac would care that much, but a pang of jealousy forced him to go.

“You looked blazed,” Mac laughed when Charlie reached him. He instinctively reached out to brush out Charlie's hair with his hand, giving it some sort of order. “Hope you're not already burnt out for the night.”

“Naw man, it's good,” Charlie laughed. 

“Alright, just keep up with us, Charlie,” Mac laughed. “We're gonna get so fucked up tonight.”

Charlie decided not to mention that he was the last person anybody should worry about keeping up, he was the king of getting fucked up at this point. He just zoned out into space while Mac collected his things from his locker.

“Hey Mac,” Dennis greeted from behind Charlie, making Charlie jump. “What's dirtgrub doing here? Doesn't know his way home without you?”

Charlie decided to zone out again. He didn't really listen to what they were saying, he was counting the specks on the carpeted floor below his feet. He kept losing count and having to start over. 

He didn't even imagine their conversation. He would want Mac to stick up for him, but he knew Mac probably said some pussy shit about assuming Charlie was invited and offering for Charlie to go home alone. And Dennis was probably condescending and said  _ of course Charlie was invited, any friend of Mac's was a friend of Dennis _ . He probably called Charlie dirtgrub again, and Mac probably let him get away with it even though he never let anyone else get away with calling Charlie names.

Charlie didn't even realize he was walking or seated in a car. It was a big car, an SUV, Dennis was in the front passenger seat, Mac and Charlie were in the back seat, and a Hispanic lady that Dennis did not introduce to them sat in the driver's seat. Charlie didn't really snap back into reality until they started pulling in front of a building. It was a big stone building with a lot of windows and a lot of floors. There were a lot of cars in front of the building too.

“This is your house?” Charlie asked in a whisper, speaking for the first time since school. “It looks like a school!”

“It is a school, dumbass,” Dennis scoffed. He added a chuckle to make it seem like friendly teasing, but Charlie knew it wasn't. “We're picking my sister up, have you listened to a word we've said?”

Charlie shrugged and said, “You didn't have anything cool to say.”

Dennis was about to argue when the back seat next to Charlie opened. A blonde girl their age (must be twins, Charlie thought) looked at Charlie with immediate disgust. Charlie looked at her in confusion, she wore a metal contraption all around her body, like she was some sort of robot.

“Who the fuck are these losers?” Dee asked before saying to Charlie, “Scoot over, make room.”

Charlie scooted over but crossed his arms defiantly, “We're losers? At least we're not part robot, and at least we're not total dicks to random strangers.”

“You're the random stranger who's in my seat,” Dee huffed, moving her neck awkwardly, getting as close to flipping her hair as she could. “Plus, you're kind of being a dick right now.”

“Stop being such a goddamn bitch, Dee!” Dennis snapped from the front seat. He turned around with a way-too-political smiling and introduced everybody. He even introduced Charlie by his name instead of calling him dirtgrub.

First, they dropped Dee off at a physical therapy appointment. Charlie scooted back to his seat, glad that her metal contraption wasn't digging into his hip anymore. The rest of the ride to Dennis's house was actually kind of nice. Dennis actually talked to Charlie, not just Mac. They mostly shit on Dee, even though she wasn't there, and laughed.

When they pulled up to the house, Charlie was almost as shocked as when they pulled up to the school. It looked like a beautiful, suburban-style house (basically a mansion, like Charlie said), Charlie almost doubted they were still in Philly (legally, they were, but that was about it).

“Alright Maria,” Dennis said when they pulled in front of the house, handing her a $50 bill. “For your discretion.”

“Gracias, Senor Reynolds, but my name is Daniela, not Maria,” she said softly, taking the cash.

“Whatever,” Dennis said, getting out of the car and slamming the door.

Mac got out without a word. Charlie got out of the car, but popped his head into the car to say a quick, “Thanks Daniela,” before following the other two boys.

“Shoes off,” Dennis said sternly at the door, toeing his own shoes off.

They both took their shoes off, kicking them by the door along with their backpacks. Dennis looked at Charlie up and down before spitting at him, “Take your jacket off, it's filthy.”

Charlie threw his arms up in argument, but still took his jacket off with a defeated huff. When they were all sorted out, Dennis led them to the basement. Charlie looked at the ground to avoid staring in shock. The house was much larger and much cleaner than his and Mac's houses combined. Mac looked around, but did his best to look unimpressed (the way Dennis later would try to polietly look unphased at his first visit to Mac's house).

“Alright, gentlemen,” Dennis hummed, clapping his hands together. “Whiskey? Scotch?”

“Uh-” Mac said, looking between Charlie and Dennis uncomfortably, unsure of what to say. In terms of alcohol, Charlie and Mac mainly drank vodka and beer.

“Whiskey!” Charlie said decisively, puffing his chest out like a caricature of a confident man.

“Whiskey it is!” Dennis hummed, walking over to Frank's bar. Charlie finally looked up and was awestruck. The basement didn't only have a bar, but it also had a couch and a few other seats in front of a TV, and a whole lot of space in between. The basement, which may have been an entertainment room or a family room, was at least twice as big as his own living room.

“Are you gonna sit there and gape, or do you want to get fucked up?” Dennis asked, holding out a glass towards Charlie, gesturing towards it as if he'd already mentioned it (which he may have).

“Yeah,” Charlie laughed. It was one of those times he knew he sounded dumb and actually felt self conscious about it, but still he grabbed the glass. Mac was already holding a glass of his own. Dennis held his own glass as well as the bottle, and led them towards the couch. 

The three boys sat on the couch. Dennis sipped from his glass like a champ (it didn't taste like water to Dennis, but he had enough experience in training his facial expressions to pretend it did). Charlie and Mac looked a bit tentative, but with a silent language of eye contact, they took their first sip at the same time.

Although it was a different taste, Mac and Charlie were used to the cheapest vodkas and toxic fumes, Frank's top shelf whiskey could have been a rich person's flavored water for all they knew.

“Like it?” Dennis asked with a smug smile.

“That's not bad!” Charlie said enthusiastically.

“Damn right, it's not,” Dennis hummed. He added, “Alright, then let's roll a not bad blunt, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Mac said, digging into his deep pocket to pull out a baggie of weed. “Do you have any wraps?”

“Are you kidding?” Dennis groaned. “No, I thought you'd have wraps.”

“Whatever dude,” Mac shrugged.

“Grav bong!” Charlie cheered. “It's the best way to get high anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah it is the best way to get high!” Mac smiled brightly, partly proud of Charlie for being right and partly because Charlie saved him from looking stupid in front of Dennis.

“Fine, fine, I'll go upstairs and figure something out,” Dennis rolled his eyes.

When Dennis left, Charlie and Mac finished their drinks and whispered that they didn't know liquor could taste so far away from gasoline. When they finished their first glasses, they took swigs from the bottle.

It took almost fifteen minutes for Dennis construct a functional and attractive grav bong. Maybe it didn't need to look attractive, but appearances were important to him.

Charlie and Mac were laughing and everything was normal, but Dennis was miserable when he came down to see them having much more fun without him. 

“You didn't find a way to smoke that without me, did you?” Dennis said with a smile. He didn't seem as angry as he felt, just seemed to be teasing them for the fit of giggles they were in.

“No man, but whiskey's good,” Charlie said, holding up the bottle.

Dennis whistled as he approached and snatched the bottle out of Charlie's hand from behind the couch, “Wait up for me, guys. I just made a perfect grav bong, I can't have you guys getting too fucked up to enjoy it.”

Charlie and Mac both laughed, but didn't protest as Dennis took the bottle and took a swig from it himself.

After another large sip straight from the bottle, Dennis went to work setting up his creation on the table. He did it slowly, fingers gliding over the homemade paraphernalia, puttin on a show. Without glancing behind him, he could tell neither Mac nor Charlie was paying any attention, neither of them was appreciating his handiwork. Naturally, it infuriated him.

He kept a cool composure, though, as he packed the weed into the tinfoil. He looked at Mac with a charming smile, “Would you like the first hit? You are a guest.”

“Yeah, thanks man,” Mac hummed. He stood up and then leaned over the table, taking a huge hit (as it should be when one is smoking from a grav bong). He pulled away, coughing and laughing.

“Me next!” Charlie said, jumping up from his seat.

“A little rude, considering you had half the whiskey, but go ahead, buddy,” Dennis said, still smiling that charming smile that Charlie hated. If he fully understood the word condescending, he would use it to describe Dennis.

After their first round of hits, the boys immediately went for a second. After that, Dennis suggested they conserve the weed by feeling it out before smoking more. It was a good idea too, since the mixture of weed and alcohol was just starting to work to relax their bodies and jumble up their thoughts.

Dennis got up and put the TV on. Charlie wasn't sure what was playing, but his head was getting light and dizzy. Since Mac was on the same couch as him, only a few inches away, Charlie's sleepy mind didn't see any difference in snuggling up with him the way they did in secret. After all, even though he wasn't obsessed with Dennis the way Mac was, he had gotten slightly more tolerable throughout the day.

It started with Charlie with Charlie shifting to stretch out, but within a few moments (maybe long seconds? Maybe short minutes? Charlie was unsure), Charlie's head ended up in Mac's lap, legs stretched out across the rest of the couch.

Dennis's eyes were focused on the TV, but he saw the movement out of the corner of his eyes. He turned to get the bottle and when he saw the position Mac and Charlie were in, he let out a chuckle and said, “You guys are looking pretty gay over there.”

And like a switch, Mac flipped. He went from casually letting his hand drape over Charlie's chest to physically pushing his friend away, “What the fuck? When did you get there?” He asked, as if he hadn't gently played with the fabric of Charlie's t-shirt with his fingers. 

Dennis laughed harder now and said, “Don't worry Mac, it must be hard to notice when Charlie does gay things, I'm sure he does all the time.”

“No I don't!” Charlie huffed, standing up.

“Yeah you do,” Mac laughed. “You can be such a faggot sometimes.”

“You know what? Fuck both of you! You're both gay as shit, always showing off to each other and shit!” Charlie screamed. “I'm going home, and I bet you're gonna suck each other's dicks the second I leave!”

And then Charlie was up the stairs. Maybe Mac and Dennis responded, maybe they didn't. Maybe they were joking, maybe they weren't. Charlie didn't care. It just all sucked. Dennis was stealing Mac from him in every way possible. Charlie hated it.

Charlie walked home. It was a far walk, but there weren't many other options. He got home and stole a bit of his mom's vodka and locked himself in his room. With liquor to drink and spray paint to huff, he drifted off into space until he passed out.

In his angry, drunken stupor, Charlie decided he wouldn't talk to Mac until school on Monday. He expected Mac to be too busy becoming best friends with Dennis to really notice anyway.

Around midnight that night, however, Charlie heard a tapping on his window. He knew it was Mac. Over the years, the two had become experts at sneaking into each other's rooms.

Charlie was still a little drunk, but had a headache from being without toxic fumes for too long and not sleeping long enough. He groaned and stumbled to the window, opening it for Mac.

“The fuck do you want? Your new best friend wouldn't suck your dick after you sucked his?” Charlie spat at him, proud of coming up with so many words while this tired.

“Shut up man, we didn't suck each other's dicks,” Mac grumbled back, getting his footing as he climbed inside. He was obviously still a little drunk himself. “I just like… I dunno man. It's Friday, we stay at your place on Fridays.”

“Why do you wanna sleep in the same bed as a faggot?” Charlie huffed.

“Dude, don't be such a baby about it, you know you're not a faggot. I was just being a dick,” Mac huffed.

“You are a dick,” Charlie answered, but his voice was more gentle now. That was the closest he'd get to an apology from Mac. For now, it was enough. He started to walk back to his bed. When he was under the blankets, he noticed Mac, still standing by the door.

“Come on, dude,” Charlie called to him. “And shut the window, it's cold.”

Mac quickly shut the window and then joined Charlie on the bed. Charlie scooted close to the wall, as if trying to avoid Mac, but he was still facing Mac. Mac sighed softly and scooted closer, gently pulling Charlie onto his chest. 

Charlie easily settled in next to Mac. He almost teased him for being gay, but for once in his life, he thought before speaking. He just closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile.


End file.
